There's Light At The End of The Tunnel

"I heard someone say that an air plane is off course 90 percent of the time and the pilot has to keep adjusting it over and over until it reaches its destination. I'm not sure if that's true but it made me think...We must set our goals and continue to adjust until we reach our destination and goals...Stay on course!" ~Reverend Run (DMC)

I was discouraged last night, in case you couldn't tell. As you all know, I had a casual interview last week for a job with a commercial construction company, it went well, except that I was told before proceeding, I'd have to make sure I could get out of my enlistment with the Navy. I took care of that (in person) on this past Friday, and reported that to Jeff (the guy I'd interviewed with). I usually hear right back from him, but I didn't hear from him Friday. No word Saturday. None on Sunday. And when yesterday rolled around and I STILL hadn't heard anything, I guess I started to think that maybe the interview hadn't gone as well as I'd first thought it had. I prayed about it because, remember, I told myself that if I didn't have a job by January 21, 2008...then I'd have to jump on somebody's stripper pole (okay...I didn't say that, and I WOULDN'T do that, but, hell, desperate times call for desperate measures, right?)...kidding, but I did say that I'd have to break down and settle on just 'any ol job'. And let's face it, the 21st is not that far off. So,I prayed about it last night. And a funny thing happened....

1. This morning my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. I never answer those kinds of calls. About a minute later, I had a voicemail. It was a guy, with Jeff's company calling to see about setting up an interview. I called him back and he said that he definitely wanted to meet with me Thursday, but also wanted to meet today for a sort of preliminary interview. Well, that sort of sucked for me in a way, because I was absolutely exhausted...this was around 10:30 this morning, and I still hadn't been to sleep from the day before. He wanted to meet at 2pm, so, I laid down for an hour and a half (which coincidently did me, NO good..but I'll discuss that later). Arose w/the help of some of my friends (told them to call/text me to make sure I was up) an hour and a half later, and prepared for my interview. Well, long story short, the interview lasted from 2-3:30. I figure an interview that long has to be a good sign, right? I feel like it went really well. He complimented me on being very 'articulate' lol. I go back on Thursday for another interview with two individuals that I'd be reporting to in the given position. If I get the job, I'd start January 28th. Pray.
   
   
2. I'd applied online, for an administrative assistant position with a bank about a month ago. Never did hear anything about it. Assumed (and you know what assuming can do...) that the position had been filled or that they just weren't that into me (lol). Well, out of the blue, today, I receive a call from an unknown number. Naturally, I do not answer. A minute later, another voice mail. It's a woman from the bank calling about setting up an interview. Unfortunately, when I called her back, the receptionist (or whoever) told me she was on a phone call, I left a message that I'd returned her call, but I haven't heard back from her. And maybe I won't need to :)

You know what they say, the "Lord works in mysterious ways." And "He may not come when you want Him, but He's always on time."

Aside from that, I've still been really consumed by the whole 'Ryan' incident since last week.


"Pain, Is Such A Funny Thing. When It Hurts, It Hurts, But When It Leaves, It Goes...so much better, to hurt a little bit now, than to be so far gone, and hurt a whole lot, tomorrow."


I'm letting it get the best of me, and that's not what 2008 is supposed to be about, really and truly. So, now that I've had five days for it to fester, it's time to put a band-aid on the wound and keep it movin. I've got far more important things to be spending my energy thinking about. Wouldn't you say?


What else? Oh, speaking of things getting the best of me. I'm not sure WHAT to do to conquer this whole insomnia thing. I honestly think medical attention is in order here. Or maybe some over the counter meds until I can get to a doctor (no health insurance at the moment, so that makes doctor's visits sort of a ...no-go). Insomnia..what can I say about it? If you've never had to deal with it, I think it's probably really hard to understand. You think you know, but, you have no idea.


Alright, I'll explain it as best I can. Imagine you're a kid again. And it's summertime. Back in the day, there was one thing all kids looked forward to (and even now, still do..both kids and adults):
Ah, yes. The swimming pool. Or the lake. Or pond. Or fire hydrant. Or maybe even the water hose. Whatever source of water you had available to you. Do you remember how drained you were after spending an entire day in the sun and water? You know, when you're so tired you can feel it weighing your whole face down, not to mention the rest of your body? Well that's how I feel every day/night. So, it's not that I'm not tired/exhausted, I am, trust me.

Uh, so why don't you just lay down and go to sleep.

Alright, let me explain what THAT'S like. So, I get all settled in and cozy. I close my eyes. And here, begins the dilemma. My body itself, feels like a weighted log...very very heavy. You could probably compare everything inside my body, to a racecar track.
I don't just mean that in the figurative sense, like "my mind is going a mile a minute"...I literally mean that my insides feel like they're racing, but they've got nowhere to go, so they just keep hitting walls. My mind, my nerves, everything...just very very jittery. And it's a physical feeling. I can feel my eyes moving around (when they're closed) and everything!

So far the only things that I've found that help are:

• Alcohol (which is why Thursday is the only night that I actually sleep at night-well, early morning, when I get in, around 230-3-and for longer than just a few hours)

• Sleeping pills (which I am waiting on my pusher to supply me with...j/k...or am I? [insert evil laughter])

• Or, what I'm used to, staying awake anywhere from 24-72 hours straight, until I reach a point of exhaustion.

Speaking of which, I'm exhausted now. One would think that after staying awake for such a prolonged amount of time, I'd at least get a decent amount of rest. Not so much. Until 5:30pm today, I'd been awake since I woke up YESTERDAY (the nap that I'd attempted prior to my interview..was a joke, I couldn't sleep at all, mainly because I didn't want to fall into a sleep where I wouldn't hear my alarm/phone when it was time to get up..and in turn, miss my interview). So anyways, I laid down at 5:30 to go to sleep, hoping, for the entire night. I woke up 2 hours later. It's 1:29AM now, and I'm still awake. *SIGH*

I guess now's as good a time as any, to try again...right after this game of Literati... wish me luck (with the sleep attempt, not the Literati, I got that on lock!).

FEATURE VIDEO OF THE DAY-Because Sonic commercials are my absolute favorite!

RMwaaaah

SSS, out!