ya do, or ya don't, or ya will, or wontcha...

...so, over the past year....or five, i've been doing a lot of soul searching (sometimes inadvertently)...figuring out who i am...what i want. the whole sha-bang. and i must say, i'm pretty close. there are things i have dealt with, things i've endured...struggles, hurdles, and obstacles, that i've overcome...which have all brought me to a pinnacle of discovery. self-discovery. i realize that i would not be the person i am today, were it not for each and every experience i've had and or person i've met. so i appreciate all things and people in that manner. the purpose of this particular entry is...well, i was doing some thinking earlier...i'm single, but i don't consider that a state of emergency as some women (especially women my age and beyond) might consider it to be. i'm to a point where, in many regards, i've mastered the art of patience...and so, i am okay with waiting. but while waiting, i don't think there's anything wrong with taking into account, the things i do, and do not want. and thus, the thought entered my mind, to make a collective list of some of the things that i desire most and find most important in a potential counterpart.

i am not looking for a guy and/or a relationship. but, if one were to find me, i'd like for him to possess at least 75% of the following:

1. he should believe in God and have some sort of relationship with Him.

2. he should be educated and/or knowledgeable (he doesn't need to have a degree, but he should be intelligent). i want to be able to have a conversation with him beyond football, what's going on in hollywood, and even beyond the love of my life, music.

3. he should be employed & preferrably doing better than i (not because i'm out for his money in any shape, form, or fashion--but because i would like to be with someone who has the potential of inspiring me, beyond me...and doing so by way of example). if he is not employed and/or not where he wants to be in life, he should be actively working to attain his goals.

4. he should have a positive outlook on life, and things in general. there is nothing more draining than being with someone who believes the whole world is against them & that everything is a loss, a fail, and/or a potential disaster (and i can say that, i was that person in the past). this is why #1 is so important, anyone with any kind of real faith doesn't have the time or capacity to entertain hopelessness and useless negativity.

5. he should not have any addictions: this includes alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling (my ex was an alcoholic--and after the fact, i also found out about his cocaine use...so, been there, don't want to go down that tumultuous road again). to expound further on that, if he can't function on a daily basis without alcohol...then houston, we have a problem.

6. he should be respectful and mindful of his language, in my presence, and the presence of other women, children, and elders. don't get me wrong, i'm not a prude nor a holy roller, but at this point in life, there's just a certain respect that i not only expect, but, deserve.

7. he should not be cheap. i am the type of person who likes to enjoy life and all that it has to offer. i like to go new places, and see new things. i don't want my outings to be marred and/or hindered by the nagging of someone complaining about the cost of every little thing ALL the time-and/or-someone who can't join me on my outings because they're too cheap to do so.

8. because i am into the arts, i would like for him to have an artistic/creative side-be it in visual arts, music, writing, etc...i am big on expression through art/creativity, so i relate easily and am attracted to others (in general) who share that same passion.

9. speaking of passion...he should be passionate about SOMETHING...whether it's his work, his art, his hobby, etc.

10. he should be confident, but, humble. he should know what skills and positive character traits he possesses, without exuding an air of arrogance, after all, "a peacock struts, because he cannot fly."

11. he should have a sense of humor...because the inability to laugh, is the ability to bore..i made that one up. and yes, you can quote me. :)

12. he should be open-minded and fair. i'm a 'fair'ly open-minded person myself, and though it's said that opposites attract, i'm generally not attracted to stubborn, one-sided individuals with tunnel vision.

13. he should take pride in and be conscious of his appearance. he should have good hygiene, and he doesn't have to 'break casket sharp' every time he steps out, but he should be presentable...and let us not forget General Larry Platt's anthem:

14. he should be honest and reliable...as the saying goes, 'you don't have to lie, to kick it'...this rings especially true with me. i will not expect a lot from you (i.e. demanding a relationship, requiring daily communication, etc.). i will, however, hold you to your word...it is the one thing that you should give and simultaneously, keep. if you tell me you're going to call...then i expect you to call...if you can't be accountable for the minor...then you can't be accountable for the major (in my book anyway).

15. he should want to be with me, spend time with me...because he wants to, not because he needs to. i don't deal well with 'clingy'...it makes me run in the other direction. especially if it's too soon. i need to know that whom ever i'm with, can stand on his own, like i can stand on my own...but together, we're a united front.

...that's all for now...remember, i'm still in discovery mode. the list may change...i may add things...i may take things away...but, so far, what do you think? i do not require a super model. a genius. or a millionaire. i ask for the simple things...is it a fair list?...or am i just dreamin...

"...when they tell me, to keep on dreamin', that's just what i'm, i'm gonna, that's just what i'm gonna do..."

chime in.